Who Needs Another Kid?

I haven't introduced you to the other members of our cozy family- the cats. We have two: Rufus P. Kittykins, the Mayor of Kittytown, and Candace (Candy) P. Kittykins. Adorable... when one isn't responsible for their care, feeding, and entertainment.

The winter is an especially challenging time in regard to our furry family members. Both are indoor/outdoor, enjoying the benefits of both. When the temperature plummets, the Mayor becomes a complete wimp about setting foot outside. It's quite theatrical really. He stands at the door, tap, tap, tapping with his paw to be let out (my husband and I imagine him saying, 'Hello? I'm waiting. People, I'd like some attention here. Can anyone hear me?') We open a door to let him out. He shivers. Shrinks back. Cowers. Looks outraged that we would even consider allowing him to go outside. And he turns and heads back to warmer environs. But it doesn't end there. He is not content to be merely indoors. He now must be entertained. There is a constant lament, following me around the house and, God forbid I sit down. Then, he jumps on my lap, thinking my only concern for the afternoon or evening is to administer various spa treatments.

Candy is slightly less demanding. She will still go outside in snow and colder temperatures. She prefers to be outside. However, when inside, her demands are even greater. We think she was separated early from her mother (both cats were strays my husband "relocated" and adopted during a move several years ago) and has certain habits that indicate that. One is that she kneads and drools excessively when on one's lap. And I mean excessively. You could drown. So there's a cleanup factor there. And, because she is outside so often, she has very dense coat of fine, fine hair. And it sheds everywhere. It's the kind of hair that floats through the air, choking you.

Others have asked why not invest in a cat door so that the cats can let themselves in and out the hundred or so times the whim strikes daily? No can do. The complicating factor is that we live on a ravine, home to various forms of wildlife (deer are walking through as I write). Raccoons have become our new cat friends. We have a sun porch where we leave the door cracked open so the cats can come and go- eating, sleeping, and taking refuge as needed. We once left the door open past dark. Next thing we knew, Rocky and the Kids had moved in. Although incredibly thoughtful- they actually unroll the cat food bag, retrieve food, and re-close it- it creates a kind of cross-species mayhem. So that door must always be closed at dusk. And we are resigned to being slaves to the cats. Many days, I think they require more care and attention than our daughter. She, too, has learned to answer to their whims. If she only knew how to turn door knobs a bit better...

So, really, who needs to have another kid around the house when there are these other family members to attend to?