Sickness (of the body and mind)

After all these years, I still haven't been able to gracefully incorporate the role of illness (mine or other family member's) into my life. I want to think I can be more Zen about it after all these years. I envy the friends I have who, when sick, hunker in, fire up the DVR and sleep for two days. However, at the first sign of a sore throat, anxiety grips me. Oh, the woe it will bring to my schedule if it becomes an illness of consequence! The schedule is like a house of cards- move one and it's all over. And, I must admit, part of this anxiety comes from the feeling of responsibility (?) and fact that, if I don't work, I don't make money. It's just the nature of my career. Along with the incredible flexibility of schedule is this fact- I'm no salaried girl.

Would that I could be like the rest of the world and just be sick. That I could just take a break knowing that I will catch up, appointments can be rescheduled, the world will not stop turning. But, yet, every time, it feels as if the world is putting on the brakes. And, let's examine the obvious: perhaps I am sometimes becoming sick to force myself to take a much needed break and slow the schedule a bit. After all the years of holistic healing and self-awareness cultivation, you would think I could just cut out the middle man, give myself a break, and not have to have the divine powers-that-be enforce that break. You would think...

For now, I continue to chant my mantra, "My health is the most important thing... Nothing is more important..." Luckily, spring is in the air and the illness(es) of the winter seems to be receding from our locale. Now to just avoid that crazy Swine Flu...