The Standoff

Our levy failed yet again yesterday for what seems like the umpteenth time. Let me clarify two things: I supported the levy yesterday because it was an emergency replacement levy and not a permanent levy but have not done so automatically in the past few years. I'm a little fed up. That's saying a lot for someone who used to be an automatic levy supporter. Support the kids; support the schools? Absolutely!

But now, with this last failure, I feel like there is a dangerous culture brewing. A culture of impasse. The district no longer sees these failures as a message regarding the importance of taking stock and making some much-needed constructive changes. Instead, they have assumed a slash and burn mentality. Cut, cut, cut more programs. Likewise, the voters, getting sick of cuts with no other plans or transformation behind them seem to be intent on resending the message, 'no more money for you until we see something that indicates change.'

A standoff. Sigh. I fear this whole situation is leading to a downward spiral that is going to do nothing for anybody, least of all our children or property values. I'm just hoping for some dialogue and someone who has the courage to break this cycle. Please??

Until then, anyone know of a nice place to live in the Cloverleaf District?

Will I Be Able To Remember All This?

I'm a big fan of Anna Quindlen and have several of her works, compilations of past columns and her more recent books. One of the things I envy about her is that she is recording her life lessons for her kids. They will always have a written record of the things she has learned in life and the wisdom she has to impart. She will never have to worry if she remembered to tell them everything. Whether they choose to read it or heed it is not the point. It's there. In print. When my daughter was born, I inevitably started thinking about the aspects of my life and personality aspects that I wanted to share with her. The traits I hoped she'd inherit and those that I thought I'd do my damnedest to not pass on. But how do you remember everything? I could get hit by a bus any day and have I impressed upon her enough that, most times-- always?-- it's better to believe in yourself at the risk of going against the crowd?

My mother-in-law started telling her at a very, very young age (2 weeks, maybe?), "Question authority." I love this. It's quick, easy, wise, and highly memorable. I need to start making up some of those myself. I can turn them into little family sayings-- something besides "you can't always get what you want" (yes, think Rolling Stones) which seemed to be the mantra as we navigated the treacherous waters of 4-years-old, now much better at 5. Then maybe I can just jot them down finally and tuck them away somewhere safe.

And I'd also like to start recording the things my daughter says. All those gems she imparts in such a way that only a little tyke can but that make perfect sense. A lot to be learned there, in-between the pint-sized tyrant proclamations. My current favorite is the word "puffy." We try not to use the word "fat" in our house because I think it's just plain unkind. So, instead, my daughter came up with the word "puffy" to describe people of a more generous bearing. I love it! Because it's so descriptive. Because it's so neutral in terms of judgment. Try it, you might like it.

So, I feel a bit like time's a wastin' here. My daughter is now five and I've been a cliche-laden wreck. Where has the time gone? They grow old so fast... Pretty soon she'll be a teenager... so, for the time being, I keep grabbing my camera and hope that I can capture just a bit of the ephemera.

What summer?

I don't know about you, but it's now September and I'm finding myself asking, "where did the summer go?" I know I was here and it was May... and now it's the beginning of September. Crazy! I've heard this is what happens when you get older; time passes more quickly. Truth be told, I'm looking forward to the fall. It's my favorite season and, after years of trying to put the shine on, I've finally come to terms with the fact that I'm just not a summer person. I don't like heat, especially when it creeps towards 90 degrees with 90% humidity. I'm not so great at days and days of unstructured time. And I'm certainly not good at entertaining my five-year-old who was bored starting sometime in mid-June. So here's to fall! And crisp fall days. The scent of wood burning fireplaces. Beautiful vibrant colors. Snuggling under the comforter at night. Wearing sweaters and sweatshirts again. Now, if we could only stop the arrival of winter.

Back on the Wagon

I've found it! I've written before about my on and off relationship with exercise. I'm not one of those people who eagerly bounds out of bed in the morning to go run my 5K. However, as I've mentioned previously, I really enjoy tennis. But, alas, it's a time limited venture since I play outdoors, live in Ohio, and my partner has turned realtor mogul (go Pam!) so our complicated schedule has become even more complicated. Enter serendipity. Last winter I was invited to join a yoga group being held at a friend's house. I was a little trepidatious. The last time I tried yoga was in the mid-90s in the attic room of my local YMCA. It was hot; it was boring; I thought I would poke my eyes out. But I'm down with the karmic energy so I though I'd give it a whirl again. I love it! I love the teacher, who creates new routines for us every week (no more boredom) that seem to be the perfect balance a good workout, a good stretch, and a monkey mind tamer. Best of all, I love what it's doing for my energy level and body. Once I hit 40 I was feeling a bit pessimistic about the change potential of my body. But I've discovered in the last 4 months, do enough downward dog and plank and I can have biceps again. And start to cultivate long and lean muscle mass again. I'm not kidding myself- I won't ever look like Madonna (who am I kidding? I never looked like Madonna... except for a brief period of time in the 80s when I wore lace gloves and neon bracelets) but I can look like a better 40-year-old version of myself. And feel better. I'm back on the wagon again.

The Beauty of Caught Up

Does anyone else out there have a to-do list that feels like it's breathing down their neck? I do. I'm a list maker by nature. I have a list for everything; all sorts of lists-- a work to-do list; a home to-do list; a combined to-do list (more on that later); grocery list... you name the area of my life, I have a list. But if I think I've got a huge list, you should see my husband's list. I caught sight of that baby the other day and, I'll tell you what, if that was my list, I would have a panic attack every time I saw it. But here's the difference, he writes stuff down and basically forgets it until he revisits the list. A very healthy approach to dealing with the list (and anyone will tell you, he is way more well-adjusted and healthy than me about most things in life; the yin to my yang).

And then there's me and my list(s). I write it down. I then obsess whether I've thought of everything. Am I forgetting something I promised to someone? I then spend time considering (read: nitpicking) as to what should be the priority on the list. I worry if the list is too short (what have I forgotten?). I worry if the list is too long (how will I accomplish everything?). It literally keeps me up at night. I not-so-secretly loathe people who sleep soundly at night apparently without a care in the world. I come from a long line of accomplished insomniacs/worry warts and lists are just the beginning of it. But I digress... Being such an accomplished list maker, I have discovered several tools to help me tame the list mess in my life:

Notebook- This program rocks my world! And, unfortunately for you PC users, it's only for Mac. It literally looks like an old-school, spiral-bound notebook. There are tabs on the edge of each page and you can organize it however you want in order to track projects, organize information, and any online info (all those lists of websites you know you're keeping), etc. This description is not doing it justice. It's genius.

Getting Things Done- My husband turned me on to this and I read about it in a magazine article as well. Just can't remember the source. The book (and article) make the case that merging all your to-do lists into a single list will help you be more time efficient. It's true! No more flipping between lists or looking in multiple locations for all your lists. One list; one location. Voila!

Friday afternoon- C'mon, admit it. We all know that Friday afternoon is not the most productive time for most people in their work lives. So, in the interest of doing something on Friday afternoon without completely checking out, I started to make a to-do list for the next week of work. It is doubly beneficial in the fact that, 1) everything from that week is fresh in your mind and you can remember project details easily (no more searching the old memory bank on Monday, trying to remember what you did the week before), and 2) you can hit the ground running on Monday morning because you know exactly where you are headed. And no more thinking all weekend long about what you need to remember for Monday.

Toodledo- I have not used this one but my husband swears by it. As their website proclaims, "An easy to use, online to-do list. Get organized, stay motivated, and be more productive." And who can argue with that? My husband says he especially likes it because he can jot something down on his iPhone if he thinks of it at night (yeah, right, like he ever wakes up once he falls asleep. grrr. see above regarding my dislike of this particular trait... or maybe it's just jealousy). Bad feng shui. Good organization.

So, happy list making to you and yours. May they be short, well-organized, and easily accomplished. And may at some time you feel the beauty of being caught up.

Who has the time really?

This post is a partial shout-out to my friend who I saw about a month ago. I was yammering on about the blog and he commented that I hadn't posted in a while. This also led me to realize he may very well be my only faithful reader and you need to give your public what they want. You know who you are and this is my commitment to being a better blogger.

But, really, who has the time? It boggles my mind a bit. I don't even have time to read all the blogs I enjoy (guilty pleasure disclosure: Possessionista) let alone be writing every day, even every week. How do people find the time? Are children going unfed? Bills unpaid? Work responsibilities unaddressed? I can barely get through the online news headlines before I'm called away to do something else. It makes me think of my friends who pay those games on Facebook. Where do they find the time? Carol just got a bunch of chickens in Farmville! Why does Carol, who lives in suburbia, need chickens and what exactly is she going to do with all that farm stuff anyway?

There's also my business. I know that one of the ways to effectively market my business is to create a nice, ongoing blog about relevant issues. It's social media marketing 101. But, whenever I think about it, it feels so, so heavy. If I spent time blogging regularly, I'd have to give up some of my client time, thereby not practicing as much and lessening my blog material. A vicious cycle. I know other coaches who blog regularly but also know many have children who are older. Or maybe they are just better time managers. I don't want to rush things but I'm also very much looking forward to having uninterrupted blocks of time within which to work. But, for now, I just walk around laden in guilt about all the things I could be doing to grow my business that I'm not- blogging included. This weighs heavy on my mind. Will I ever feel completely on top of things? Or will there just be something new on the list?

Okay, this has turned into a full-on whine. But, if anyone has any suggestions- tricks, tools, shortcuts- regarding more time-effective blogging, I'm all ears. And what's an acceptable length for entries? How often is considered good flow for posting? Discuss. Talk amongst yourselves. And, by all means, let me know.

But for now, this is my public commitment to try to be a more regular blogger...with better content than this entry. It's actively on my to-do list. And thanks for reading.

My isms, Part 1

Working in my profession (and having a bit of a tendency toward corniness as well), I have generated a number of sayings- my “isms”- that I tend to use over and over again. I thought I’d share a few here…

Risk is rewarded~ I truly believe this. If you do something that is difficult for you, perhaps even something you thought impossible, you are most likely rewarded by the Universe. Magical things happen. Try it.

Care less~ Many people who are conscientious about their work, their commitments, their responsibilities, etc., spend way too much time and energy overcaring (I think I may have made that word up, but it works!) Perhaps it's worrying about the end result; perhaps it's worrying about how the work or actions will be viewed. Let go. Care less. Rarely will anyone notice and you'll feel so much better.

There is no such thing as a missed opportunity~ Another one I truly believe. If an opportunity is presented to you and you decide to pass it up, for whatever reason- time, money, other commitments... whatever- if it's meant to be a part of your life, it will come back around again.

Hamstering~ This is a verb, "to hamster," as in don't spend a lot of time hamstering around. We've all witnessed it- the little hamster running from one corner of the cage to another or, even worse, running on that crazy wheel, going nowhere. Wasted energy. Wasted time. Unproductive. Don't do it.

Just because you're good at something doesn't mean you should do it~ We all have certain skills at which we excel. Some we enjoy; some, not so much. So, follow your heart... your gut... your instincts, whatever you want to call it. Listen and you will hear and understand what will bring you the greatest happiness, day in and day out. Do it and try not to get distracted by other things that you do well but bum you out.

7-10 theory~ I use this with my career clients but can transfer to many different areas of life. If you are considering something, do a heart check (gut check, intuition check... whatever you want to call it). My feeling is that you should only consider engaging in things that are a 7-10 on the 1-10 scale (1 being something you couldn't imagine doing; 10 being the best possible thing you can think of), because a 5 or 6 eventually turns into a 3 or 4 and who wants to be spending their time doing a bunch of 3s and 4s. Live a little in the 8s and 9s.

It's your journey~ And no one else's. Ultimately, each of us is responsible for the choices we make and our own happiness. Many people will try to influence you, thinking they might know what is best for you. Only you know. Only you can choose your path.

There is power in saying "no"~ Totally self-explanatory. Saying "no" to anything you're not convinced is your journey (see above)... or something as mundane as yet another commitment that you are accepting out of obligation, is completely freeing. And addictive. Try it.

Don't let your compass stray too far~ One of my clients suggested I include this, so this one's for her. Everyone has an internal compass- their internal "true north"- which easily lets you know what the right choices are for you. Follow your compass. Don't spend too much time and energy on things that pull you away from that "true north."

Be still and know~ Okay, this one isn't mine. It comes from Thich Nhat Hahn, the renown Buddhist and contemplative writer. (Okay, all the Christian scholars out there: I am fully aware of Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God." But I just prefer the Buddhist version.) Be still and know that all is well. Be still and know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now. Be still and know that there is no need to be actively seeking. Be still. And know. I like it so much, I had it engraved on a bracelet.

I'm calling this "Part 1" because I'm sure there will be many more in the future. They just seem to appear and then I start using them over and over again...

A Year of Following My Intuition

Sometime after the first of the year last year, I decided that I was spending too much time "hamstering" (see upcoming post about My Isms) about certain work-related choices. It's like the cobbler's children that have no shoes, sometimes I'm not very good at following my own advice. So I decided that I would try to make more conscious decisions and choices in line with what I know I really want to be doing. Huge leap of faith for me to consider leaving behind some "safe" choices, things that are known to me. I first started by spending less time intellectually considering decisions ("it's a lot of money; this could be good for my career; it's the next natural progression...") and paying more attention to how I felt when a choice was before me. Without fail, there was always an immediate reaction. One that I would often ignore in favor of all the intellectual pro- and con-ing. I started to tune out the header "chatter" and pay attention to how I felt about a decision as I was making it. Did I have a sinking feeling in my stomach? Or did I feel good about it?

And let me tell you, really good things have started to happen. I almost don't want to make too much of a big deal out of it and jinx myself, but wow! The more I am saying "no" to the things that aren't part of my journey, the more things are coming to me that are a part of my "true north." So, I'm planning to keep it up and see where else this is going... I'm in for the ride now.