The Magic of 5

So after all of my complaining 5 is turning out to be a pretty good age at our house. It's hard to know what exactly has inspired the change but here are my thoughts on contributing factors:

1) Getting older. My daughter is just plain older and working through some of the developmental issues that plagued us at age 4... like the frequent door slamming, kicking, and use of inappropriate words. I'll admit it all here. She was a real handful and oftentimes acting in ways that did not make a mother proud.

2) Conscious Discipline by Becky Bailey. A friend suggested this program many (many!) months ago and I could not get into it. But then it was offered locally in a round of sessions that fit oh-so-conveniently into our schedule. After realizing during the first class that much of the program hinged on me changing my reactions and behaviors (oh crap!), I was gradually bought in. Now I'm all in. Using the strategies of the program has been life changing at our house. Hard to describe in a few words but much of it has to do with responding to and meeting your kid at their appropriate developmental level. And it's all about empathy and firmness, things we've found our daughter responds well to. Check it out for yourself- www.consciousdiscipline.com.

3) Working less frenetically. It's no secret to those who know me that I am quite passionate about my work. I love it. I believe in it. But over the spring and summer my work pace was getting quite frenetic. It's not the kind of job that you leave at the office. I started to realize earlier this fall that the less stressed I was about work, the more time- better time- I was able to give my daughter. Duh! And she has really thrived under the new pace and better attention. And, likewise, she has not done so well as my pace has picked up again. It's been hard to downshift because I'm so driven about my work. But, when all's said and done, I'll always have the time to work that way again; this special time with my daughter is ephemeral. I know, I'm starting to sound a bit like a broken record about all this time's-a-wastin' stuff. But it's true.

I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth. I know there will be the occasional dips as we go. But I'll take the changes, regardless of the reasons! And here's to hoping 13 will be as peaceful as 5...