Who has the time really?

This post is a partial shout-out to my friend who I saw about a month ago. I was yammering on about the blog and he commented that I hadn't posted in a while. This also led me to realize he may very well be my only faithful reader and you need to give your public what they want. You know who you are and this is my commitment to being a better blogger.

But, really, who has the time? It boggles my mind a bit. I don't even have time to read all the blogs I enjoy (guilty pleasure disclosure: Possessionista) let alone be writing every day, even every week. How do people find the time? Are children going unfed? Bills unpaid? Work responsibilities unaddressed? I can barely get through the online news headlines before I'm called away to do something else. It makes me think of my friends who pay those games on Facebook. Where do they find the time? Carol just got a bunch of chickens in Farmville! Why does Carol, who lives in suburbia, need chickens and what exactly is she going to do with all that farm stuff anyway?

There's also my business. I know that one of the ways to effectively market my business is to create a nice, ongoing blog about relevant issues. It's social media marketing 101. But, whenever I think about it, it feels so, so heavy. If I spent time blogging regularly, I'd have to give up some of my client time, thereby not practicing as much and lessening my blog material. A vicious cycle. I know other coaches who blog regularly but also know many have children who are older. Or maybe they are just better time managers. I don't want to rush things but I'm also very much looking forward to having uninterrupted blocks of time within which to work. But, for now, I just walk around laden in guilt about all the things I could be doing to grow my business that I'm not- blogging included. This weighs heavy on my mind. Will I ever feel completely on top of things? Or will there just be something new on the list?

Okay, this has turned into a full-on whine. But, if anyone has any suggestions- tricks, tools, shortcuts- regarding more time-effective blogging, I'm all ears. And what's an acceptable length for entries? How often is considered good flow for posting? Discuss. Talk amongst yourselves. And, by all means, let me know.

But for now, this is my public commitment to try to be a more regular blogger...with better content than this entry. It's actively on my to-do list. And thanks for reading.

My isms, Part 1

Working in my profession (and having a bit of a tendency toward corniness as well), I have generated a number of sayings- my “isms”- that I tend to use over and over again. I thought I’d share a few here…

Risk is rewarded~ I truly believe this. If you do something that is difficult for you, perhaps even something you thought impossible, you are most likely rewarded by the Universe. Magical things happen. Try it.

Care less~ Many people who are conscientious about their work, their commitments, their responsibilities, etc., spend way too much time and energy overcaring (I think I may have made that word up, but it works!) Perhaps it's worrying about the end result; perhaps it's worrying about how the work or actions will be viewed. Let go. Care less. Rarely will anyone notice and you'll feel so much better.

There is no such thing as a missed opportunity~ Another one I truly believe. If an opportunity is presented to you and you decide to pass it up, for whatever reason- time, money, other commitments... whatever- if it's meant to be a part of your life, it will come back around again.

Hamstering~ This is a verb, "to hamster," as in don't spend a lot of time hamstering around. We've all witnessed it- the little hamster running from one corner of the cage to another or, even worse, running on that crazy wheel, going nowhere. Wasted energy. Wasted time. Unproductive. Don't do it.

Just because you're good at something doesn't mean you should do it~ We all have certain skills at which we excel. Some we enjoy; some, not so much. So, follow your heart... your gut... your instincts, whatever you want to call it. Listen and you will hear and understand what will bring you the greatest happiness, day in and day out. Do it and try not to get distracted by other things that you do well but bum you out.

7-10 theory~ I use this with my career clients but can transfer to many different areas of life. If you are considering something, do a heart check (gut check, intuition check... whatever you want to call it). My feeling is that you should only consider engaging in things that are a 7-10 on the 1-10 scale (1 being something you couldn't imagine doing; 10 being the best possible thing you can think of), because a 5 or 6 eventually turns into a 3 or 4 and who wants to be spending their time doing a bunch of 3s and 4s. Live a little in the 8s and 9s.

It's your journey~ And no one else's. Ultimately, each of us is responsible for the choices we make and our own happiness. Many people will try to influence you, thinking they might know what is best for you. Only you know. Only you can choose your path.

There is power in saying "no"~ Totally self-explanatory. Saying "no" to anything you're not convinced is your journey (see above)... or something as mundane as yet another commitment that you are accepting out of obligation, is completely freeing. And addictive. Try it.

Don't let your compass stray too far~ One of my clients suggested I include this, so this one's for her. Everyone has an internal compass- their internal "true north"- which easily lets you know what the right choices are for you. Follow your compass. Don't spend too much time and energy on things that pull you away from that "true north."

Be still and know~ Okay, this one isn't mine. It comes from Thich Nhat Hahn, the renown Buddhist and contemplative writer. (Okay, all the Christian scholars out there: I am fully aware of Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God." But I just prefer the Buddhist version.) Be still and know that all is well. Be still and know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now. Be still and know that there is no need to be actively seeking. Be still. And know. I like it so much, I had it engraved on a bracelet.

I'm calling this "Part 1" because I'm sure there will be many more in the future. They just seem to appear and then I start using them over and over again...

A Year of Following My Intuition

Sometime after the first of the year last year, I decided that I was spending too much time "hamstering" (see upcoming post about My Isms) about certain work-related choices. It's like the cobbler's children that have no shoes, sometimes I'm not very good at following my own advice. So I decided that I would try to make more conscious decisions and choices in line with what I know I really want to be doing. Huge leap of faith for me to consider leaving behind some "safe" choices, things that are known to me. I first started by spending less time intellectually considering decisions ("it's a lot of money; this could be good for my career; it's the next natural progression...") and paying more attention to how I felt when a choice was before me. Without fail, there was always an immediate reaction. One that I would often ignore in favor of all the intellectual pro- and con-ing. I started to tune out the header "chatter" and pay attention to how I felt about a decision as I was making it. Did I have a sinking feeling in my stomach? Or did I feel good about it?

And let me tell you, really good things have started to happen. I almost don't want to make too much of a big deal out of it and jinx myself, but wow! The more I am saying "no" to the things that aren't part of my journey, the more things are coming to me that are a part of my "true north." So, I'm planning to keep it up and see where else this is going... I'm in for the ride now.

The Pint-Sized Tyrant

These are trying times, I tell you. My sweet little girl who, granted, has had her moments in the past, has turned into a four-year-old roller coaster ride for our family. These are the best of times and the worst of times. (My apologies to Dickens and the butchering of great writing) Some days I don't think I'll make it to five. Recently, I was describing the trials and tribulations at our house to a friend and she murmured, "pint-sized tyrant." "That's it!" I yelled with the zeal of Sally in a Peanuts episode (refer to A Charlie Brown Xmas). The house is being ruled by a pint-sized tyrant with very definitive views of what should and should not occur. It brings no end of gnashing and torment to everyday activities as mundane as using the potty or brushing teeth or clipping fingernails. A battle of wills that I know, unfortunately, I will always lose.

I'm just older and tired. Her tenacity is far greater than mine. Likewise, these "rules" apply to the placement of objects around the house. What was once a cute preoccupation and an outlet for her creative little mind has become a living space overrun with animal habitats and small creature (Fur Family anyone?) communities everywhere... not to mention the Princesses and their whole scene. And, God forbid, you move anyone or anything out of it's place. Enter, the allowance.

For my daughter's fourth birthday, we purchased a piggy bank as her gift. She is really interested in money and saving money (thank goodness that apple fell far from the tree.) So, every once in awhile she is highly agreeable to doing a little "pick-up" in exchange for a quarter "allowance." Often, works like a charm and we both feel good about the negotiations. And, although I complain, I have to admit, her imagination is astounding to me and the tableaus are amazingly cute. Who wouldn't love that the Princesses packed up all their stuff, jumped in the wooden coupe (Plan Toys) and headed out to their "camp" which happens to be a fairy pop-up book that has this amazing tree configuration at the end? Each princess gets to tuck into her own section of the tree each night at "Camp." And she is really into concepts of family and marriage so there is a constant flux of relationships and mixed families among the creatures and characters. I love it. I truly don't think I was that creative when I was younger and treasure all her insight.

And she's doing me a world-of-good regarding my potential OCD complex. You can be resentful to your husband for not picking stuff up (luckily, my husband is exceptionally indulgent to me in this matter) but it's hard to get mad at your four-year-old for her stuff being strewn about. Face it- everyone lives in the house and, from her perspective, most of the stuff isn't hers. What's the harm in having a few toys underfoot and all about? Like everything else I'm sure, one day, way too soon, I'll miss these days. Now, just tryin' to get to five...

Just Because You're Good at Something...

Every once in a while, usually at least once a year, a project dances across my desk that holds great allure. Maybe it's the money. Maybe it's the content which could be exceptionally juicy. Maybe it has a save-the-world aspect that appeals to me. Often I say "yes" to these projects and then, midway, rue the day I signed the proposal agreement. And, here's the deal: I have this saying I use quite a bit in my professional (mostly) and personal (sometimes) life:

Just because you're good at something doesn't mean you should do it.

It's pretty much the equivalent of your mother saying to you, "If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?" It's a lesson for us all really. Sometimes it means that following what we're good at (and perhaps ignoring the obvious signs of discomfort) will take us down a path we don't want to go. Or, even worse, take us down a very familiar, worn out, torn up, much trod upon, been there-done that path. There is wonder in taking the new path. And, I must constantly remind myself because it hasn't yet become second-nature, that there is greatness to saying "no" to certain things and allowing the space for unforeseen wonders (a new project, a new client, an unanticipated life-changing experience) to come into your life.

And, inevitably, there is challenge and (gasp!) growth.

Summer Break Updates

Well, it's been some time since my last post and I decided I will call it a summer break. Yes, I took a summer break. Or something like that. Not that anything super-exceptional happened... although there was the yearly birthday trifecta (daughter, husband-- the big 4-0, nonetheless-- and mother-in-law) and a series of longer and shorter vacations.

Here's some news:

For those of you even remotely interested, I went with the iPhone. Sausage fingers... not such a problem. And, I must admit I'm in love with the apps. Oh, the apps. So, after owning it for 3 1/2 weeks I can't quite comprehend how I ever lived without an iPhone. Can you tell I'm not quite cut out for third world living? It's really wonderful! Not a single regret.

The other techno news at our house: we bought a Wii. Another how-could-we-have-possibly-survived-without-it purchase. After playing at our relative's house over Xmas and then spending a week on an extended family vacation and enjoying it as our after dinner entertainment, my husband couldn't hold out anymore. We actually stopped at Target on our way home from our trip. I think it's improving our couple quality-time too. Really. Instead of lumping on the couch together after our daughter goes to bed we now engage in sporting activitities. Golf... tennis... bowling. Although I'm not so keen on the boxing. Another great upgrade to our family technology.

So, we have engaged in our own little economic stimulus plan at our house this summer, pumping money into the economy.

Other than that, a slower summer work-wise. Haven't quite been in town long enough to get that sinking into the laziness of summer feeling, and the weather is just starting to crack the 80s this week. Not that I mind the cooler temperatures but the whole season just feels different this year. Soon onto to my favorite- fall!

Sickness (of the body and mind)

After all these years, I still haven't been able to gracefully incorporate the role of illness (mine or other family member's) into my life. I want to think I can be more Zen about it after all these years. I envy the friends I have who, when sick, hunker in, fire up the DVR and sleep for two days. However, at the first sign of a sore throat, anxiety grips me. Oh, the woe it will bring to my schedule if it becomes an illness of consequence! The schedule is like a house of cards- move one and it's all over. And, I must admit, part of this anxiety comes from the feeling of responsibility (?) and fact that, if I don't work, I don't make money. It's just the nature of my career. Along with the incredible flexibility of schedule is this fact- I'm no salaried girl.

Would that I could be like the rest of the world and just be sick. That I could just take a break knowing that I will catch up, appointments can be rescheduled, the world will not stop turning. But, yet, every time, it feels as if the world is putting on the brakes. And, let's examine the obvious: perhaps I am sometimes becoming sick to force myself to take a much needed break and slow the schedule a bit. After all the years of holistic healing and self-awareness cultivation, you would think I could just cut out the middle man, give myself a break, and not have to have the divine powers-that-be enforce that break. You would think...

For now, I continue to chant my mantra, "My health is the most important thing... Nothing is more important..." Luckily, spring is in the air and the illness(es) of the winter seems to be receding from our locale. Now to just avoid that crazy Swine Flu...